Each month Body Comes to Mind hosts the Embodiment Lab (EL) where we explore topics that impact our personal resilience and wellbeing. These live, interactive sessions supplement our online courses . They provide a training ground for anyone interested in transforming react-ability into response-ability through the powerful tool of embodied awareness.
Following is an outline of what we experienced during the lab, including paraphrased quotes from participants.
Authenticity: The daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we are.
Wear your Heart on Your Sleeve
Where do you wear your heart? Out in the open as an easy tell for how you’re feeling or what you’re thinking? Or more of the opposite, tucked away, only to come out on special occasions?
To “wear your heart on your sleeve” implies that you express your emotions without hesitation, let it all hang out and, in doing so, you expose yourself. The general consensus is that exposure equals vulnerability and vulnerability equals risk: the risk of that information being used against you later, undermining your self-worth. And so we limit ourselves.
Being vulnerable is scary. Other people have opinions about how you feel, what you think, or even the validity of your emotions. You might be considered odd, naive, ignorant . . . And in certain situations there are repercussions for presenting your “real” self.”
“When I ‘overshare,’ I end up feeling guilty. It makes me tense and uncomfortable, left with a kind of tightness in my gut; an achy feeling around my chest and shoulders.”
Hiding your genuine self — whether you imprison your heart, not sharing your desires and insecurities, joys and sorrows, or overshare without regulation — shuts down your liveliness. It compromises rewarding connection with others, and reduces both creativity and overall performance. By not making the brave move to share our true selves, we maintain the status quo. This may provide us with a degree of stability, but limits self growth and the opportunity for others to grow as well, whether that “other” is an individual or an organization.
Having Your Heart on Your Hand
That’s the Polish translation of ‘wearing your heart on your sleeve’. The connotation is positive and refers to people that like to help, are honest, open and have sincere intentions.
The question is, how would you like to wear your heart?
We all have a sense for it. Heaps of evidence (see references for a few) demonstrates that genuine connection benefits ourselves and others. In order to create that, the heart needs to be on board. Expressing yourself honestly and consistently being true to yourself has a positive impact on your well-being. It increases your resilience. And allowing your heart to be touched, especially when you’re in a position of caring for others, has a great impact on the quality of the connections you build. And by bringing your unique perspective and experience to the situation you develop relationships that help you thrive, both personally and professionally.
It is important to clarify that being vulnerable and transparent is not the same as being emotional, offloading your troubles, or sharing specifics about your life. It’s about showing yourself as a person, not as a specific ‘role’. We can relate to others in the context of the generalities that connect us, our life experiences. When you uncover the ‘you’ in your role, connection and compassion reveal themselves.
Your Heart's Desire
- How do your muscles feel?
- Where do you feel more open? Where closed?
- What facial expression do you have, what is your breathing like?
- What direction are you thoughts taking?
“It felt like a place where I want to be more. It was less heavy and I felt like I didn’t have to protect myself so much.”
Your Heart Confined
Working with contrasting situations helps you to identify what is changing in yourself, making it easier to feel how you can make changes in how you compose yourself. So now that you’ve become aware of how you could wear your heart, switch to a scenario where the environment doesn’t allow you to wear your heart out. Imagine yourself in this place and then notice what is happening within:
- How have your thoughts been affected? Your breath, your body temperature?
- What is your facial expression?
- What kind of emotions are you experiencing?
- How is your heart reacting?
“It felt like my heart was in a cage. It shrank, tightened, contracted. I was sitting in a corner and made myself small.”
How to Support Your Hearts Desire
Knowing the difference in your system between a “positive” heart experience and a “negative” one, it becomes easier to recognize when you are in the midst of those experiences. Once you’re familiar with the signals, a window of choice opens so that you can make a shift if you would like to.
You might need additional support to make that shift. Opening your heart when the environment doesn’t support it is a brave move. How do you gather the courage you need to take the next step?
Try this practice.
Get a strong sense of your “best” heart space and then:
- Place your awareness behind you, the area that might represent what has come before you, your lineage. How does that change your heart space?
- Then place your awareness to the sides of you, sensing your width. Flowing to your left and right could symbolize your social connections, the present. When you place your awareness here, how does that change things?
- Next place your awareness in front of you, which often stands for what lies ahead, your future. Do you notice anything different?
- Lastly, sense a flow of energy channeling from behind you, through you, and into the space before you. What do you notice?
The idea here is to get a feeling for what best supports you in your intention to wear your heart as you wish, to support your heart’s desire. In our recent Embodiment Lab we explored this exercise. One participant’s experience was unmistakable:
“This was quite clear! The strongest place for me was at my back. I had the sense of generations of wisdom at my back telling me how proud they are about what I’m accomplishing in my life, saying they wish they could have been as brave. They are cheering me on!”
Wearing Your Heart Out
When you’re wearing your heart on your sleeve in an aligned, supported, and balanced way, your life energy flows. You’re able to share openly and compassionately. Research confirms that when we do that, it benefits ourselves and others.
Despite the benefits, many settings do not support authentic connection — one that can be truthful, joyful and vulnerable — without fear of repercussion or chastisement. It takes courage to wear your heart out.
The goal of this Embodied Exploration™ is to leave with an understanding of how you typically ‘wear’ your heart, to experience what it feels like to wear it in the way that you’d like to, and then to discover a way to tap into support that will help you get there. The outcome is a skill that you can use when you need it!
You can call on your embodied support system when you need it to foster authentic connection, to practice wearing your heart the way you want to, to have the freedom to choose. As your awareness increases, you might find you less often abandon your sense of self in pressured settings. And you might engage with others in a more ‘listening’ way, enhancing your sensitivity to others’ needs and your ability to relate to what they are going through.
When you open your heart, you open your mind.
How will you start practicing wearing your heart on your sleeve?
Join the next Embodiment Lab
Interested in learning more about how Embodied Exploration™ might help you in a very practical, concrete way? Connect with us!
Get guidance with your first steps toward embodied awareness and join us for next month’s Embodiment Lab. Every 3rd Thursday of the month a new theme.
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